It comes so many different ways. The simple whisper that you can only hear when you take a moment to breath. A song on the radio, the feeling that there is something you should be doing but you don’t know what. A longing that you can’t quite place, a sadness or lonely feeling that comes when you are surrounded by those you love. Then there are the times when it stops you in your tracks, it is suddenly clear as day. It pops out at you in the most extraordinary way. There is no ignoring it and you don’t have to wonder at all what you need. It’s clear as day yet you put it aside or make a note to take care of it later.
You see my Jesus loves me, he misses me, he longs for me. Why do I make him work so hard and wait so long simply to have me, to spend time with me, to get my undivided attention. I claim, state and believe with all my heart that He is the most important person in my life, that nothing comes before my relationship with the Lord. Yet relationships take time, attention, effort. They need to be cared for nurtured and protected. I spend so much time doing this with my human relationships and yet the most important relationship and the only one that truly matters gets my attention last. There is a great comfort and peace in knowing that God will always be here for me. He will never leave me or abandon me. How dare I take advantage of that. How dare I put effort into everything and everyone else and yet expect the most out of Him. You see I miss my Jesus too. I long for Him too. I am never more at peace or happier than when I am simply at rest in His presence. Or when I read his word and meditate on his love.
My moment came this morning as I was walking out the door. I have set some personal goals for myself and have committed to some things I want to do and changes I want to make and yet was feeling very frustrated with how that was going. As I turned out the bedroom light I looked up at the jewelry hanger on the wall and read for the thousandth time, the verse that I have chosen and written on there……..
Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised..
I see it everyday and read it most days. Yet all the things that are keeping me from what I long for the most are somehow deceitful or vain. It was a moment that I needed, but am so disappointed that it got to that. Why did it take so long for me to hear the gentle loving and persistent call of my Savior? Why did I put everything else first when I know that there is only one that will bring that peace, only one that will feel the longing, only one that will bring the answers I seek, the purpose that I long to fulfill?
Tonight as I get ready and prepare for another busy week I find myself full of gratitude. Thank you Lord for continuing to call, for tugging at my heart, for giving me the longing and for drawing my eyes to your reminder to me for what matters most. How good it is to rest in Your presence. How good it is to bring my longings and my heart and my love to you.
Lord it’s in your hands!